Lately though, thanks to the extra hormones racing around, I have been having the most bizarre, crazy, lucid dreams I have ever had in my whole life. I've dreamt about people and things I haven't seen in years. I've had baby dreams where I'm forgetting the baby or feeding it something weird or holding it wrong. Sometimes they are naughty Jackie Collins type of dreams. I get those. They make sense. But then there are the freaky nightmares that come from who knows where, and those are really disturbing and freaking me out.
Last night I woke up from my latest "zombies are coming to get you dream" all sweaty and gasping and tangled and had to turn all the lights on and watch some soothing vacuous HGTV before I could get back to sleep a couple hours later.The general theme seems to be 'things are going well, then it starts to go real bad and gets real scary and because of one simple, critical error on my part (like not locking the door or charging my cell phone) it leads to me being trapped, then devoured by scary zombie monsters, chased down by people who are going to torture me, the kids get stolen or the house falls down and I can't wake myself up, and its my own damn fault.
So what's going on? A fear of intrusion? Of being trapped? The spicy pizza I ate for supper playing tricks on me? Making an irreversable mistake? I'm betting on the mistake thing. When I was a kid and made a stupid mistake and was upset about it my mother would say "Calm down, Child, no one is going to come cut your legs off over it." Which is true, except in my dreams they do. And then eat them in front of me.
All I know is that if it doesn't mellow out I am going to be one wicked property developer from all of the late night HGTV shows I'm watching at 3am.
An afterthought. (after I Googled 'Zombies")
Control and related themes of power and exploitation are basic to the voodoo zombie. "They work faithfully and are not worried about long hours," Zombies of the Haitian Voodoo variety represent a loss of cognition/consciousness and also a loss of free will.
By "controlling" another person and eliminating that persons ability to make choices, let alone engage in conscious thought, the "controller" has reduced that person to the level of an animal and has robbed him of his humanity. To fear zombification, then, is to fear exploitation.
Maybe the 'zombies' are all the other parents who keep warning me that I will need to just submit and join them in faithful servitude to Kids and I'm afraid of being devoured by parenthood and losing myself. How's that for deep?
1 comment:
Or maybe the zombie is the kid, who will certainly be controlling in his own little way. Also reducing, if not eliminating, your ability to make choices, since it will all be about him for a while!
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