I've created a monster...

I took Andrew to an auction yesterday. Normally he doesn't go with me, one of the auctioneers is a woman with a really grating voice and its kind of like being nagged, but for some reason he felt like joining me and the neighbor, which made the neighbors's husband want to go to.

They say that women are the shoppers and spenders, but when you combine shopping with competition and a little bit of gambling you get men's sport shopping. Auctions.

Normally when I go to the auction I spent $50 and bring home a painting or a box of crap or if I'm really lucky a table and a dresser AND a box of crap. Yesterday with Andrew on board, we needed movers.

When we first got there he wasn't that interested in anything, but the auction started and when they got to the dressers, the guy said the magic words "BIG and HEAVY" and the next thing I knew Andrew was waving our bidding number around and bidding WAY past my usual comfort zone. I think my shock egged him on more. I was sweating and grabbing for the bidding paddle. I wouldn't have been more surprised if he ripped his clothes off and ran up and down the aisle naked. He loves anything big and heavy (bodes well for me!) and without actually really looking at the stuff or consulting me he bought 2 big solid, very traditional mahogany dressers. First rule of auctions - kick the tires (check for damage and missing parts, cracks, stains etc....) Luckily they turned out to be in pretty good shape, they even still have the key for the locks...

He was STOKED after that, and started scanning for something else and laid his big pretty blue eyes on a great big hutch and buffet. Funny for it to be the biggest, heaviest thing in the entire room. Its one inch taller than he is. And I was sucked in because I thought it might complete my "Restoration Hardware" on a dime look. www.restorationhardware.com

While he left to scurry home to get tarps and straps and tie down stuff and while he was gone I bid on and won the buffet - for $350. It started at $200 with only one other person bidding and whenever I'm in that situation I mostly just wish the other person had never been born so I could have gotten it even cheaper. More sweating and barf tingles and holy crap what did I just buy and is it going to actually fit in our house? The neighbor had to fan me down when she got back from the bathroom.

The funny part is when Andrew got back the neighbor told him I got it for $600 and he was wicked excited, he thought that was a steal, so he was just elated to find out it was actually almost half that much. Ha ha.

After that I felt pretty good about bidding on some more stuff. So I got a painting and a bunch of brass decorative stuff to stick in the hutch....Cheapy cheapy. Five dollar. Two of the items still had the $40 price tag from The Bay on them.

After all that stress, we were tired and ended up hiring movers to move it all. They dropped it off and I felt grown up for about 10 minutes before I dropped one of the glass shelves to the buffet and smashed it. Shleprock. It looks SO good in our dining room. So good that after we were in bed, under the covers, lights out we had to get up, run downstairs and admire it some more. (even with the missing shelf).

My Restoration Hardware inspired room for under $1000.

Dinner with the herd...

My aunts and uncles who are in or approaching their 70's were at our house last night, they do a road trip almost every year, this year it took them through Ontario, and we made the list. They are hilarious.

I have another cousin who married a guy who sounds like he is half saint, is really churchy and he loves our crowd so much he changed HIS last name to be Ramsey, so that's a tough act to follow. But they LOVE Andrew. My aunt climbed up on a chair to give Andrew a hug and kiss.

I'm not sure if my husband was surrounded by many loud foolish relatives around growing up, because he just eats up everything they say, he loves being part of a rowdy herd. And they are always picking on him and teasing him. We told them we were going to see the grand canyon and my uncle Bob said we were going to be looking down at the grand canyon saying "Whoa, look at the size of that" and the grand canyon would be looking up at Andrew saying "Whoa, look a the size of that guy".

The dinner went well. The lady at the butchers said there is only one thing you serve to senior crowd, that is a nice bone-in ham. I didn't know how to cut it up, my aunt looked like she was dying to take the knife from me and save it from my artistic stylings.

My uncle assessed my $50 auction bargain dining room table and said it would have cost me about $5-800 to buy it anywhere else and to buy new like that now would probably be a couple grand, and it still wouldn't be as good quality.

VEGAS, baby!

We booked our tickets to Vegas this week. We're going in June and I have started a whole list of tacky tourist things I want to do when we get there. I want to see the fountain at the Bilagio, I want to see the tunnel with all of the lights, I want to see a showgirl show with the plumes and sparkles, I want to people watch and see all of the crazy sights.

On the way back we're going to drive to Phoenix with a pit stop at the Grand Canyon. I've never been there. This is going to be a LOOOONG drive, but I think it will be worth it.

Its funny to go to a place that I have seen on TV about a million times. Its almost like going to a movie set. I fully expect to see Stokes and Willow investigating a crime scene, George and the boys running a racket, Nicholas Cage jumping out of a plane in an Elvis suit and mob guys coming back from the desert all bloody with a shovel in their trunk. And at least one exploding car.