We ventured out to Superstore on a Friday night at 9:30pm and discovered that is the time when ALL new parents go grocery shopping. Every other cart had a sleeping infant in their little bucket car seat snoozing and cruising up and down the aisles, pushed by nervous parents in sweatpants stopping every half aisle to hover over their kid to make sure it was still sleeping / breathing.
Here's how you get out of the house with a newborn...
There is only about a 2-3 hour window at any given time unless you can feed, change and burp your kid. Even if the baby is an angel, odds are your boobs will tell you to go home or they will explode in public.
So. First there is the repacking of 'the bag'. I was on crack and thought I could get away with a diaper tucked in a big purse or small tote. Uh. No. I'm such an idiot. I have discovered that not only do I need a bag, I need a bag so big that I also need a friggen Sherpa to carry it. Diapers, wipes, blankets, burp cloths, breast pads, change of clothes and don't forget a shirt for yourself in case you get slimed. Oh, and then there is my wallet and keys and lists and crap. Due to my pregnant arrogance, my current diaper bag is not something cute and chic, its a cloth shopping bag. This is an upgrade from the first outing in which the diaper bag was a plastic garbage bag (Andrew packed it).
Then there is the ordeal of getting a tiny floppy infant in a snug car seat without feeling like you're going to break their arms. I'm not so good with this. It has taken three weeks to figure this out without one or both of us bursting into sobs. I still really question how badly I need to leave the house every time I have to stick him in it.
Then there is the warming and window scraping of the car. This is followed by the ice picking and shoveling and salting of the stairs so no one slips and falls on the way to the car. Andrew does this while Adam and I wait inside all bundled up sweating buckets waiting for it to be safe to step outside. We bought a snowblower, which takes care of the big shoveling, but if I had to do it myself, I would not be leaving the house until the spring thaw.
Finally, we get in the car. The baby starts to sputter. So we have to prioritize of errands. You never know if you have a couple of hours or 15 minutes. My husband doesn't understand this window very well yet. Silly man, he thinks they should be done in geographical, not priority order. Not me, I learn right quick. You have to do the most dire errands first. So far it turns out that the baby actually likes the car and being out so when we get home and he sleeps for another hour I'm like CRAP. I had time to do X, Y and Z but at that point its too much of a hassle to go back out.
Once I make it to our destinations, there is the frantic pace in which I race around the store, kicking the shelf and buying whatever falls off so I can get what we need and back to the car before the baby starts to cry or some other kid cries and my boobs threaten to explode. I'm normally a frugal, contemplative shopper, but with the car running, the husband waiting and the baby sleeping lightly, I am like one of those contest winners who only has 60 seconds to run through the whole store filling their cart full of free groceries. Except its not free, it costs WAY more because I don't look at prices or labels or anything and I buy way more than I need in case I never get out again.
I'm not sure it will get easier. Parents with older babies long for the easy 'potted plant' days when they just clicked the bucket in and out of the car. Parents with toddlers long for the day when their kids couldn't walk and they didn't have to deal with drippy boots and their kids eating dirty cigarette butts off the ground. People with teens long for the day when their kids didn't bitch about their legs being scrunched up in the backseat.
Thank goodness for online shopping.
