Things I see in a whole new light now...

Now that I have a kid I have some respect for some very specific situations....

1. A mother who is on time.  

200 Bonus points if the kids are with her.  

500 Bonus points if they don't have sticky hands, one pig tail falling out and the socks match.

2. A really young mother at the mall with a little one sleeping in the stroller and a well behaved toddler trotting alongside.  I used to maybe judge a little (too young, trashy pants, etc).   I now realize that this is the motherly equivalent to witnessing a miracle or watching one of those 8 year old Asian sevante kids play an entire concerto.  What's even more amusing is when five minutes later you see another frazzled 30 something have it all pleading and reasoning with their savages to shut up in Baby Gap so they can pay $40 for a t-shirt and get out of there.  

3.  Anyone whose body cooperates and spits the kid out in less than 12 hours.  I spent 36 hours in labour and nearly had to be sawn in half to get my kid out - after I spent many nights reading granola birth guru Ina Mae and hiring a doula. I also spent years rationalizing being sturdy and big boned hoping it would come in handy during childbirth, and it ended up being totally useless.  Yet some teeny leetle 1/4 pound french canadienne in zee next bed barfs out her kid in in five hours, orders pizza and makes some work calls.  Not fair.

4.  People who can get filter their own emotion enough to make their kids do stuff for their own good.  I am a total softie suck pushover.   I am trying to be a little harder nosed to accomplish some basic goals.  Like showering.  Spending some alone time with my husband. Leaving the house for longer than 45 minutes alone....  My kid hardly cries. Probably because he logs more time attached to me than a baby monkey, he takes up prime real estate in the king sized bed with us, he eats on demand (clearly a baby doesn't get to be off the growth chart at 4 months by missing meals) and who needs Baby Einstein when Daddy will sit you on his lap and put the aquarium screensaver on the 27 inch flat panel monitor and play Seal on the 6.1 Surround Sound for you?